A blessed life.

Tonight, as my children were safely tucked up in bed, I decided to do a little online Christmas shopping.  My eldest two and I had just watched a film together which I always enjoy- there’s nothing better than having my arm around each one, duvet across us, as we watch a good film.

The  TV was on in the background. I don’t like the silence at this time of night as I suppose I am not used to it: my husband would always have the TV on in the evening.   Occasionally I would look up to watch part of a sketch, perhaps if it was a celebrity I liked or if it just generally caught my attention.

Hearing a local accent (I am from the North of England), I looked up to see a couple discussing how their (our) local hospice had supported them.

It is hard to know what to write here.  I don’t know these people.  All I can say is that I cried and sobbed through their whole story. I shook my head in disbelief at the pain and misfortune they had suffered but also at the strength, gratitude and positivity they possess.  This couple have lost not one, but two children; their daughter Abigail in 2008 and their son Harrison in 2015.  Even as I write this I have a lump in my throat.

If you would like to read about this yourself, please see the link below:


For me, this sums up the reasoning behind my need to change my life.  I want to be a better mum: I want to cherish every moment of my time with my children and give them a happy life for every day I am blessed enough to be with them.

But this isn’t enough for me. I need to do more. I want to feel that I am doing some good in the world. I recognise that anything that I do will be small compared to some but I believe that every single person on this earth has the responsibility to be a good citizen no matter what their circumstances. If in my heart I know that I am doing what I can, that will be enough.  And I want my children to have the same values.

I am not sure what direction this will take me; there’s so much to think about at the moment. But I feel this the start…pulling myself out of the monotony of a stressful life, into one where I appreciate the wonder around me and try to contribute to it where I can.

Wish me luck.



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