Time for tears

I think that I might actually be depressed.  I am hopeful that by the time someone actually reads this post I have realised that my current state of tears was exhaustion and Christmas-stress induced.  It is doubtful though.

I have been close to tears a lot lately. School concert = tears of pride.  Concerned parent = tears of empathy. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t actually cry.  But the tell tale lump was in my throat and that tickly/tingly sensation you get in your nose.

Tonight has been full out tears. Within a space of half an hour, both of my children have managed to make me cry.  The first, by telling me that she wishes that one of my sisters was her mother because they are nice. The second by telling me I am a horrible mother who doesn’t care about any of them and all I care about is money and work.  Do they mean it? Probably not, but it is more than my sensitive, self-critical soul can take. I can honestly say I am truly trying my best to be a good mother.  It seems that the best is just not good enough sometimes.



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