As anyone could have predicted, I did not hear from Jay today. When I didn’t hear anything in the day, I excused him by expecting it at night at a similar time as I had messaged him on Sunday. I gave him more manners than he deserved perhaps.
Is that harsh? I don’t blame him for ending our little chats. The distance was ridiculous and if anyone tells me that I am going to have to look that far away to find a half decent man to chat to/date with then I am going to give up now. I suppose I am just not sure why he continued after the first, very late night chat. I’d love to know what is going on in his mind. Probably not a lot – about me I mean…or do I?
I think I would have preferred the old “It was really nice talking to you. Perhaps we can chat again sometime?” which translates into you helped pass a few minutes enjoyably but this is going nowhere. You don’t deserve to be treated like shit but don’t your breath for my next contact. Instead my weakly fluttering heart was considering why he wanted to talk again and why he was willing to text me the day after that. What did it all mean? My ego got a little nudge, a little awakening, despite Doubt and Reality shaking their heads at it.
Was that sneezing fit actually real in our last conversation? If not, that is the weirdest way to end a call I’ve ever experienced. Saturday night should have stayed as it was – two lonely/bored people brightening up their evening by enjoying conversation without fear or expectation.
And so, bye bye Jay from London. It was nice talking to you. You made me smile.