The waiting game

I feel like kicking myself this evening. I’m pretending I’m not waiting. But there is a little part of me that is waiting, the part that is slowly awaking like Sleeping Beauty from a far-too-long slumber (drowsy, a little out of it and not entirely sure what is going on with the world since it fell asleep).  

For those of you, like me, who’s considering thinking about the possibility of perhaps trying dating, there are some great blogs out there. 30’s dater freaked me out with the following post about his discovery of what to do to get that second date:

Dating After Finally Understanding Women –

Particularly as ‘Jay’, the man I was speaking to last weekend and discussed in my last post here, didn’t text on the Monday when he said he would but then messaged on the Thursday… Three days later. 

Before you think it, I’m not clingy and I’m not expecting this man to be my soul mate. In fact, I’m still not sure what the hell is going on. He lives too far away for any hope of anything. So when we spoke two days in a row – his suggestion – I was surprised and intrigued. When he didn’t text the day after that, I wasn’t. This was a non-starter so it was bound to end sooner or later. 

I was surprised when he did message later. Was his lack of contact some sort of technique to hook me in? I can’t believe that: if I have considered the distance thing, so has he. Was he a bit bored? Probably, but why wouldn’t he then just go back online to find someone closer to home? I’m so confused. 

Last night we had another long chat. Yes 30’s dater, I have heeded your advice. Too many phonecall/text conversations just creates a world of pretence that reality can never live up to. My eyes are truly wide open in this situation. 

But. I like talking to him. He seems to like talking to me. He said he would text today and… He did. I am waiting for this man to be a no show. It’s going to happen. But it hasn’t, yet. And the reason he didn’t text on Monday? He had remembered that I’d said I had meetings after work until Thursday. I did say that. Convenient excuse for not texting? Maybe. (A little explanation here: if someone – anyone- says that are going to phone/text on a specific day, then that is what I expect. If someone says they’ll make contact ‘sometime’ then that’s different.)

So, after an afternoon of flirty chatting, ‘Jay’ has gone out tonight. Weighing it up, I know nothing about this guy. Anything and everything that he says could be a complete lie. He could be on a date tonight. I enjoy speaking to him: it’s entertaining and fun. Perhaps that’s how he feels about me too. He has said he will message. The ‘sleeping beauty’ part of me is waiting for that message. The rest of me is waiting for him not to. 

Surely dating in your 30’s should be easier than your 20’s? We’ve been round the block a couple of times, we’ve seen all the moves and all the ‘ducking and diving.’  We are too mature for game playing.

 But am I actually the one who is game playing? I keep saying I don’t feel ready for dating and yet I am engaging with this man without having any understanding of my intentions and expectations, never mind his.

I don’t know what this is. I don’t know how long it will last. But I am enjoying it, for what it is. 

Any advice? 


4 thoughts on “The waiting game

      1. Meet sooner than later – I’ve damn near fallen in love with girls just from their pictures, texting and calling and it comes crashing down in the first 5 seconds of seeing them. Every. Single. Time.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You’re right, I know. I can’t see a way this would work out anyway. And part of me is wondering if he is married anyway. I’m not doing the chasing so I will take it at face value and try not to get attached.


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