So, you’ve finally arrived! There have been times this year when I couldn’t wait for you to get here. Other times I pretty much wanted the world to slow so I could catch my breath. Either way, I’m glad you’re here now.
2017 actually ended the way I would want. My children were happy and we had all a lovely time over Christmas and New Year with my family. It was busy but I am beginning to feel much more rested and rejuvenated. I still don’t feel on top of my game but now that you are here, hoping that will steadily change.
You hold so much promise. I know you don’t have the power to make my life this perfect place I perhaps want it to be, and I know that I need to stop feeling guilty when my life isn’t the way I want it to be. It’s down to me, both scenarios. But as this time of year is about wishes, and hope and looking positively towards the future and being appreciative for what you do have, I thought I’d tell you of what I’ve being thinking.
I want to be there for my children and be able to spend quality time with them without being overly tired or stressed. I want to take them to beautiful and interesting places. I want them to have happy memories of their childhood.
I want a home that is welcoming, warm, tidy and clean. I want to feel like I manage my home without feeling like it manages me. I don’t want it to take too much precious time away from me being with my kids. Can I have the best of both here??
I want to feel enjoyment and security at work. I want to feel satisfaction that I am doing a good job but that I can continue to learn and develop. I want to enjoy it while I am there but I do not want it to be my life. Because it isn’t.
I’ve learnt that there is nothing wrong with having some time to myself: it doesn’t make me a bad mother. I want to spend time with friends and family. I want to go to interesting places. I want to better myself and make myself better. I want someone to love me and to enjoy life with me.
I want to be fit and healthy and full if energy. I want to run and walk and swim. I want to be happy in my skin, happy with who I am. Happy with my imperfections. I want to better myself intellectually. I want to write. I want to feel fulfilled.
I want to be loved. I want to feel like I am at the top of someone’s list for once. I want companionship and friendship and sensuality and affection and laughter.
I know it is a lot to ask 2018, and I know that this is all down to me. But if you could help me out with some of this I would appreciate it. And you would prove to be a much better year than 2017.