Deja vu indeed

I still think I have done the right thing on balance although I feel bad at the same time.

I told her I couldn’t go. I said that mynsister was working, which was true, and that she wouldn’t be able to be there as much as I needed her too.

She did what I expected but what I hoped she wouldnt: she cancelled for the day and said it was too late to do anything. I wasn’t surprised, or even upset this time. She did pretty much the same thing last year. I was disappointed though, more than I let on to anyone.

So, on this beautiful bank holiday evening, I am now sat at home alone. I’ve been to the shop to buy myself dinner for one but couldn’t decide what to have. I’ve come home with a bag of salad, houmous, a packet of coconut rice and some tortilla chips. Your guess is as good as mine.

I also came home with two bottles of chilled white wine. I’m sat in my living room, sipping a glass, looking at the destruction left by my recently departed children and trying to decide what to do.

I could:

  • Watch a film of my choice, drink wine and then eat the bizzare concoction I’ve bought for tea before stumbling to bed alone. Tempting.
  • Get some music on, tidy my house and do the above. Not tempting at all but what I should do.
  • Do some drawing/painting/writing.
  • Plan my life as I do every school year start, in the knowledge that it is impossible to stick to.
  • Drink wine, feel sorry for myself, download a dating app which I then talk myself out of tomorrow and delete.
  • Plan next year’s holidays.
  • Try to work out how I am in my overdraft again.

Decisions, decisions… 😁

2 thoughts on “Deja vu indeed

  1. I think you did the right thing and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. After all, you said there were significant obstacles to taking the long weekend off, and you have to put yourself first.

    I’m going to guess you watched a movie. It’s what I would have done.

    Liked by 1 person

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