I still think I have done the right thing on balance although I feel bad at the same time.
I told her I couldn’t go. I said that mynsister was working, which was true, and that she wouldn’t be able to be there as much as I needed her too.
She did what I expected but what I hoped she wouldnt: she cancelled for the day and said it was too late to do anything. I wasn’t surprised, or even upset this time. She did pretty much the same thing last year. I was disappointed though, more than I let on to anyone.
So, on this beautiful bank holiday evening, I am now sat at home alone. I’ve been to the shop to buy myself dinner for one but couldn’t decide what to have. I’ve come home with a bag of salad, houmous, a packet of coconut rice and some tortilla chips. Your guess is as good as mine.
I also came home with two bottles of chilled white wine. I’m sat in my living room, sipping a glass, looking at the destruction left by my recently departed children and trying to decide what to do.
- Watch a film of my choice, drink wine and then eat the bizzare concoction I’ve bought for tea before stumbling to bed alone. Tempting.
- Get some music on, tidy my house and do the above. Not tempting at all but what I should do.
- Do some drawing/painting/writing.
- Plan my life as I do every school year start, in the knowledge that it is impossible to stick to.
- Drink wine, feel sorry for myself, download a dating app which I then talk myself out of tomorrow and delete.
- Plan next year’s holidays.
- Try to work out how I am in my overdraft again.
Decisions, decisions… 😁