Second the best

Definitely the best. So far anyway.

He’s five years younger than me, cute and funny. Conversation has been daily for weeks now and there have been multiple phonecalls and one video chat.

We matched on Bumble. Originally when we matched, it appeared that he was from a town about half an hour from me. It then turned out that he is actually from Scotland. A five hour drive.

In the spirit of enjoying the moment as it is, I’ve carried on talking to him. It helped that he also says that distance is not an issue for him, and from what I have learned about him I know that it is true. Not only is he happy to travel, he works on a six week on-six week off rota at sea.

This was appealing to me. With such a full life already, I felt I would be able to enjoy this person’s company when he was available, and manage to keep up with the forever-balancing needed in my own life when he wasnt.

Of course, it doesn’t work like that and I was being terribly naive.

What it has meant, is we probably would have had our first date by now but haven’t because he is in the middle of the sea. It means that the growing interest I have in him is coming from daily messages and the previous telephone chats we had. Dangerous territory.

The video chat helped in some ways. It happened the night before he was flying out to go back to work and was unexpected. I blushed the whole way through our very innocent conversation. Talking via video chat is very intense – unlike face to face conversation where naturally your eyes dart around when talking, on video chat you are pretty much staring in to a screen and therefore his face.

And what a very nice face it is too. On his profile there were a few photos I really liked and a few that were OK. Over video he looked amazing, very attractive. It goes to show that the spirit and animation in someone’s face is ultimately what we are attracted to.

So, where from here?

Due to his other commitments, I am unable to meet him until January and that feels like a long way off. I want to meet him and he wants to meet me.

My rather naive and perhaps nonchalant view of dating him is of course being challenged. I like this man.

I’m trying to stay grounded and in the moment. Despite the connection we feel, there is a chance we won’t meet and there is a chance that when we do, we won’t like each other. It happens.

But what I have learned from number two is that whatever my head my be saying, a part of me does want a meaningful connection to someone.

At the moment, I am managing to subdue some of my interest through my contact with other matches.

I’m trying to ignore the fact that I’m feeling guilty about these other matches.

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