Concentration

Or lack of it.

I have none today, none.

I’m trying to mark exams. I keep reading the same paragraph over and over. I’ve managed to fit a million other things into my day, many I didn’t need to do, but hardly any marking. This blog been one million and one.

I’m blaming my hormones. PCOS messes with your cycle and so I am on my period for the first time in a few months.

Last night I was withdrawn and sulky for no apparent reason. I couldn’t find a film to watch, didn’t want company but didn’t want to be alone either.

Today I have boundless energy and restlessness. Can’t focus or concentrate.

Doesn’t help that Wild Card seems to be ignoring me today. But of course he would… I’m on my own, on my period, and have just made the decision to keep pursuing this path with him. Irony dictates that he chooses this moment to ghost me. Yes he might be busy. But I’m not that lucky. This would be absolutely typical of me – I think long and hard into something, make a decision but discover the decision has already been made for me.

Second was a bit weird last night too. Maybe he could sense I was ‘off’.

Maybe I’m not coping with the reality of life today. Hopes built to high, excitement maxed out, too many interfering hormones.

I’m going to be gutted if Wild Card has gone though.

Sigh.

Think I might go to bed and feel sorry for myself. Except I won’t be able to relax. Arrggghh!

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