An act of kindness

I survived! My first Christmas alone. Although I wasn’t really.

The morning started off as usual. I awoke early and made a fire. I wrote in my Dad journal and waited for my children to wake and my ex to show up so he could watch them open their presents. During the present opening, I got my first message from Wild Card, wishing me Happy Christmas and asking of I was OK.

After lots of present opening, my sisters and families arrived and we had more present opening and breakfast. There was strained atmosphere at times. My sister and I have still not spoken about her decision and I’m not the only one upset with her. But Wild Card’s advice has helped – it’s her choice.

Then they all started to leave. That was harder. I could feel the tsunami threatening to overwhelm me: the fear and hurt of being alone for the rest of Christmas Day. I made a plan: I decided to keep busy and tidy up, then watch The Holiday and have some food.

First, I did my hair and put some makeup on. It’s what I would usually do and I’m very much of the opinion that if you look good, you feel good. Then I started to clean up, music on so that I was singing and dancing as I went. And then, Wild Card called.

He was true to his word – I would not be alone, he would be with me.

We talked about my morning. Him, asking repeatedly if I was alright. He had never called me on his lunch before and I was a little overwhelmed by his kindness in calling.

At the end of the call as I sensed him going, I’m ashamed to say that my bottom lip started to go. It wasn’t him exactly… Yes, recognition that a man living overseas was kind enough to see my loneliness and was trying to be there for me made me emotional. But it was also fear of being alone for the next few hours. No Christmas Dinner with my family.

I don’t know why I bother to even try to hide it because he saw straight away. The minute he saw my emotion he refused to end the call until I was OK and we had discussed what was wrong. He ended the call again with, ‘You’re not alone, remember that.’

Later in the afternoon I got a text asking if I was OK. By this point I was watching my film and had finished off a bottle of bucks fizz so I was feeling pretty good. (Totally in love with Jude Law in The Holiday – if you like rom-coms you have to watch it)

I’d cooked a piece of turkey for boxing day, made myself some mash and ate a very simplified Christmas dinner alone. It was fine. By this point, it had started to feel like just another day. The wine was probably helping too.

Wild Card called again a few hours later. Seeing that I was in a much happier place, he teased me asking how his ‘crying girl’ was. During the call, my sister and her family arrived to visit and he said hello to them all and wished them a Happy Christmas.

I took the phone into the other room and he told me to spend time with my family now. He again checked if I was OK, told me to enjoy myself and that he would speak to me soon.

Whatever his motivations, and I know some people will think they are mercenary, that man took time out of his day to call and text me repeatedly to make sure I was not alone. He checked on my wellbeing and showed me care. Whatever happens, I will never forget that act of kindness.

4 thoughts on “An act of kindness

      1. Idyllic this year sweetheart but I’ve had countless sad and lonely ones too! Even with a husband there. In fact lonelier. (((

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ah, I’m glad xxx yes, it’s amazing how an unhappy marriage can make you feel lonely. Hope you have a great day xxx

        Like

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