Battle lines – an example of the good, the bad and the downright ugly

“It’s important to send lots of pictures, keep him involved in aspects of your every day life.” That’s a great idea. I should do that. And I just took a lovely picture of me and my son today.

Yes, but you’ve not heard from him this afternoon, he’s clearly busy. And is he going to want that picture annoying him when he’s busy? I won’t send it yet. I’ll send it later.

Later. You’re being ridiculous. Firstly, he told you to message him whenever you want. Secondly, he sends you pictures of him and his family. Do the same. Include him. Good point. I will send them.

Oh. They’ve not gone through. Has he turned off his Internet? Maybe he is just busy.

It’s six pm. And he’s seen them. And he’s sent a kiss. That’s sweet. That’s a nice response. I’m glad I sent them now.

But he clearly is busy as he hasn’t sent anything else. So, I will just do the same, send a smiley face or something.

6.30pm. He has messaged! Ah yes, he is visiting family. That’s important to him. It was considerate of him to let me know now as this is when we would usually talk. He knows I would have worried otherwise.

Yeah, unless he’s just telling you not to bother him and is trying to avoid all conversation with you. He might not even be with family. He could be talking to someone else or on a date. He might just be sick of you.

No, it’s Sunday, and he is probably with his family. I will wish him a nice evening and leave it at that.

7pm. Ah he’s messaged again, asking I am not missing him? If only he knew! I’m getting withdrawal symptoms. Now he’s asking what I’m doing. I won’t tell him I’m sitting here stressing like a loser. He’s asked if I want to see him family but I can’t talk, just observe. Hell yes, I do!

And there he is. God he is gorgeous. He’s wearing that black top I like him in. And he’s just given me that face. He’s pleased to see me. ☺ I will mouth that I miss him….that’s hilarious, he’s just pretended to rub his nose so he can hide his mouth as he says ‘no’…..and he’s just winked at me and then rubbed his eyes… If anyone’s watching him they’ll be wondering what is going on…. Ah he’s showing me his family now. They’re all sat together talking. Can he still see me when I’m watching? Anyway, I look OK. Keep smiling.

Ah he’s back. Still gorgeous, still trying and failing to hide his smiles for me. I’ve got to stop panicking.

He’s going to get caught so I will tell him I will go.

I wish I hadn’t said that. He’s gone now. But he’s text goodbye. Sigh. I need to chill out, calm down and stop stressing about nothing. And keep thinking about his smiles and that look.


2 thoughts on “Battle lines – an example of the good, the bad and the downright ugly

  1. Hey, ustome!

    Again, I can’t leave a comment on your most recent post, I really don’t know what’s going on here, but I will just leave a comment wherever I can.

    I think you’re really brave to be doing what you’re doing, and honestly, no one’s opinion matters on what you should do, but your own. I am glad your mom came around and gave you solid advice the way she did too – that helps a lot, I know.

    I think the lists thing was a great idea, such a great idea! I actually did one for Giovanni not too long ago, and on the “con” side was his drug problem, and on the “pro” side was about 50 things that I absolutely love about him and how he makes me feel – that sealed it and just like you, it made me feel SO much better about things.

    I think you did the best thing by letting go Second, and focusing on Wild Card, and now that it’s coming closer to the date, the nerves you’re feeling are just a natural reaction to the unknown, and like your mom said, “outside your comfort zone.” We live our lives way too often not taking chances and not going for something our hearts want SO badly because of fear, society, friend’s opinions, or whatever excuses we make.

    Go, go see him, enjoy him – it may be the best time you’ve ever had in your life!

    Rooting for you! ❤


    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t know why you can’t comment either?! I’ve checked the settings. Doesn’t make sense. I’m feeling really good about everything at the moment. I’m really excited, whatever the outcome. Thanks for your messages, they are always gratefully received x

      Liked by 1 person

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