The real world

Hardly surprising after months of daily conversations, but I think Wild Card and I had our first proper ‘bad’ day.

For once, it was him in a funny mood today. I’ve not been easy this week. Pms is a pain at the best of times but in my near constant state of excited-anxiety-lust and with that on top, I’ve not been good.

He met my PMS fuelled insecurity with the good grace he always has – at first he ignored it and made me laugh, then he called me out on it (how the hell did he guess I was on my period?!). But then when, ashamedly, I sent a sulky text saying that I’d needed reassuring and didn’t feel it, he called me even though he was nearly asleep.

He was apologetic, caring…. Told me that he didn’t like my sad face as it was making him sad… And then made me laugh again.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the same skill set as him.

He was upset with me this morning because I had told him ‘don’t forget me later’ last night (pathetic, I know) and then when he tried to call I was on the phone to someone else. For ages.

Unfortunately, for me, he then tried to call me twice this evening and I didn’t notice until over thirty minutes later. Normally, he’s fine with this as it has happened occasionally but today, I think he was feeling insecure too.

He’s made a few passing comments that make me believe he’s starting to feel the pressure and build up too. Along the lines that I may not like him when we meet and what do I see in him? Etc. I’ve tried to reassure him but I think at this stage, we just need to meet and work this out face to face. We are both feeling similar things but whilst this should make us feel united it is having the opposite effect. Or so it would seem.

And you know, everyone has their off days. Especially when you speak to each other daily. It was bound to happen. I’ve found a great website about LDRs which is helping alleviate some of my anxiety – all this is normal in this unique situation.

So, he wasn’t really in the mood for talking once I had finally got hold of him after the two missed calls. We kind of sorted it out and the call ended with our usual virtual kisses, so I don’t feel too bad.

Hopefully we will both feel a little better this week. As we head towards ‘two weeks to go’….

4 thoughts on “The real world

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