Actions

Two more sleeps. One more day.

Happy, happy, happy today. 😊

I’m a firm believer in actions speaking louder than words. As an English teacher, that is a painful truth.

I’d learnt from yesterday’s tumultuous contact with Wild Card – I recognised that we are both feeling it, and I was determined that today would be better.

He has made me very much part of his routine which is a good sign and important in a LDR no matter how new. So, when I know that I have an event which will upset this routine, I tell him in advance and remind him earlier in the day.

This morning, because I knew I had a really busy day and meetings after school, I made sure that I messaged him first (it’s usually him). I told him I missed him and was thinking about him and wished him a good day. In return, I got a 😘 at the end of my ‘good morning baby’. A good start.

I had a few hours after school before my meeting and had a few errands to run – one of which was picking up a gift for him and his family. But I made sure that I was back with enough time to call him. I sat in the car at work and called, aware that he wasn’t expecting this and may not answer.

He did and was really surprised, and told me so. Why was I calling? Wasn’t I in a meeting? So I told him that the meeting was soon and showed him the school building on my camera, panning the scene so he could see – including him, like he always does with me. He then asked why I was in the car and I said it was so I could call him. The surprised lift of an eyebrow, totally involuntary, and the little smile said it all. More brownie points for me. ☺

We talked for about twenty minutes and I allowed myself to relax and smile which he commented on. I told him I was excited to see him. He’d been to the supermarket today to try to buy gluten free bread etc but hadn’t managed to find it. I thought that was sweet but told him not to trouble himself. He said he’s going to try a couple more places first. Positive actions.

When I got home, I made sure that I text and after I had eaten, called him. We had another, really pleasant, conversation. So different from yesterday although yesterday’s didn’t end badly, just started off a bit tense. Maybe I don’t tell him how I feel enough. Maybe I am too reliant on him to make the first move. Maybe I am allowing my sensitivity and insecurity to cloud what is positive.

All I know is, just those little things today have seemed to make a real difference. But it’s no different with him. Like when he says he will ‘call me later’ and it ends up being only 20 minutes before he calls again. When I catch him smiling or looking at me a certain way. Or when he surprises me with a compliment or a glimpse of how he feels. I don’t do that enough.

I need to remember that my actions are important too. I know he can be as insecure and jealous as me so it makes sense that he will be comforted by the same things as me.

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