Train number one..

I’m on the train, on my way to London.

I actually wanted to write more last night but was so tired after the previous night’s poor sleep.

There was a real air of romance and excitement in last night’s brief contact with Wild Card. He kept sending little Valentines’ montages of us and was affectionate. And that little nervous giggle we both gave at the end. Butterflies in my stomach moment. His comments about my sisters show some of his feelings and when I tried to play along and said I didn’t like him either, he said he knows I like him because of my eyes. I told him his eyes show it too. Perhaps not as obviously and frequently as mine, mind.

This morning I text him as I was waiting for my train. I told him I was nervous and excited and he asked why. At the moment, it’s because I’m travelling alone for the first time so that’s what I told him. He was reassuring and told me not to worry. Obviously, I’m also nervous about meeting him only because of what I’ve already told you… I want him to like me, want me, and vice versa. He is saying he isn’t nervous but, who knows. I think he probably is.

I still can’t believe I’m doing this. It’s exciting. Even putting those overwhelming feelings for him and this situation to one side, I’m going on an adventure. I’m doing something with my life I never thought I would do… Looking outside the box, taking a risk, being brave. I’m travelling alone. In the depths of my depression I couldn’t even leave the house. I’ve come a long way.

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