Oh yes I am, well and truly.
If the world was fair, I would be sat on a plane now waiting to take off on the last leg of my journey – a one hour flight – to get to Wild Card’s city.
But I’m not. I’m sat at home alone. Sulking. Periodically crying. Feeling sorry for myself.
My flights were cancelled because his borders are still not open. There’s no clue to when they will be.
He has heard rumours that his government will enforce quarantine again after Eid. He had also heard that the borders may open after Eid. See what I mean?
This week the hotels in his country have been allowed to open to full capacity. That has to be a good sign, surely? Domestic tourism is never going to fill hotels which cater for a growing international tourist industry.
I can understand then if you’re wondering what I am sulking about and why I am so anxious. And it is because it really isn’t that simple.
OK, so let’s assume they open.
First, I have to get flights. At the moment, only the national airlines are allowed into his country. If they continue with that, then seats on flights are going to be at a premium.
And I have a small window of opportunity. Because it isn’t the time spent there it’s the two week quarantine afterwards. If I am to go and come back, it needs to be in the next two weeks. See what I mean? I’m not lucky enough for the borders to open and for our government to drop the two week quarantine at the same time.
September I go back to work. My next holiday is October. What is the likelihood of a second wave before then? Or over the Christmas holiday? Before we know it, it will be February and a year since I have seen him.
That’s if we last that long. Will he wait for me for that long? Or will he get bored of this situation and find someone closer to home?
So yes, I am sulking. I hope you can understand why. Right now I should be lying in the arms of the man I love. Instead I’m sat alone dreaming.
Please take a look at #loveisnottourism on Facebook and Twitter. There are thousands of couples out there who are separated and with little hope of being together in the near future. We need your support.