Our love consumes me.
Every night, every night without fail, I lie in bed and close my eyes and he is there. I remember his kisses and his touch. I remember his arms around me. Making love. His smile and the warmth of his arms around me. Sometimes I imagine, carving out a new memory for the future. My hopes and dreams.
And each morning I wake and he is the first thing in my mind. I check the time to see how long it will be until I can message him. Or until he will call me. Until I see his face and hear his voice. I’m addicted to him and his love.
He consumes me.
I cannot get enough. No amount of time, no number of calls. It is never enough, never too much. And as he is the one who calls me 75% of the time, I assume he feels the same. No, not an asumption. He has told me that – he has never done this before and for so long and so much.
I feel like he awoke something in me. Everything now is in ultra HD… Every feeling and emotion, every promise and possibility.
I think about my life with him and, for the first time ever, I think about how much I want to make him happy: the life I want us to lead. This is new for me because before it was about the life my man would give me – the ideals and stereotypes that I wished for. I didn’t realise that until I met Wildcard and felt this.
I feel as if my whole life has led to this moment. Clues along the way now slot into place, leading me to him.
This is a love like no other. And every man that I have loved before just a lesson, a step towards loving him.
I once thought Lost Soul was my soul mate, the one who got away. What I felt for Lost Soul is nothing in comparison to the way I feel about Wildcard. And that terrifies me. It took me years to get over Lost Soul. But he was the one who got away for a reason – he wasn’t the right one. Sure, he opened my mind to possibilities of which led me to Wildcard. I have him to thank for that at least.
I know a part of me would never recover if I lost Wildcard. Because all the pieces in my life now fit and they’ve made a picture that I was forever looking for whilst barely knowing it existed.
But now I do.
My love for him is endless. I know that now from the depths of my soul to beyond.