Be better: be bold

I would like to think it is my strong will and determination that is the force which is clawing me inch by inch out of the black whole. I’m not convinced. It may just be the medication.

Armed with the resolve that o can’t let my children see this beat me, I have tried this weekend to be positive. Sometimes it has worked, other times it has not.

This morning, I conducted my recorded interview. It was ok. Not quite what I had read about but I was confident and said what I could in the very short count down for each question. I wasn’t myself, I know that, but I did the best I could in the circumstances. There are two more rounds until the final interview. Now, only time will tell.

Do I want it though? It is a career I have been considering for 20 years, on and off. I believe I could do it with some training. I like that it opens more opportunities than teaching.

I have always wanted my own business though. I’ve had many ideas for businesses over the years and have never even tried to pull one off. I once had the idea of a database of local, trusted tradesman. Kind of kicked myself when a year later, someone else had had the same idea AND the guts to put it into action. No doubt it is a multimillion pound business now.

I just want to live comfortably. I want to be passionate about what I do. I want to do it my way and learn from my own mistakes, not someone else’s. I want control over what I do and when.

What is stopping me? Failure. Not making enough money quick enough to survive on. It is a real threat and yet one my anxious brain keeps putting off. I have time, I have time.

Is there ever a better time to be bold than now?

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