Day 2 – sleepless

I had every hope that I would sleep well last night but I didn’t. I mean, a long day of packing and travelling…stress…weeks of not sleeping..

The room is comfortable enough. Nice bed, air conditioning, blackout blinds. Unfortunately, I overlook a motorway and so that is what I could hear most of the night.

I turned down the air conditioning as that was loud too – it just helped me hear the road more!

It’s not just that, of course. There are a million and one things in my head still. Will my transit flight be OK today? Will Wildcard be there waiting for me? Will he calm once I’ve arrived?

Will everything feel as it did, or better? Or worse?

When I first met him, I had known him 3.5 months. 3.5 months of talking daily, mind you, multiple times a day.

Now, it has been 19 months.

I’m staying for two weeks and I think this will say a lot. He is not on holiday so will be working. This won’t be a holiday, it will be daily life with him. I’m perfectly happy with that because I get to see the truth.

I’m also worried about work. What if they find out?

But then…what else could go wrong? They don’t want me back. They’re trying to be difficult so I leave without the conditions I’m entitled too. They’ve caused me this stress and anxiety. So much so that this trip is as much about getting away from it all as it is seeing Wildcard. Well, almost.

So, after being up at 5.30am, I eventually went back to sleep and then went down for breakfast. Happily, there were gluten free options!

Gluten free rolls

Unfortunately, unlike yesterday’s bread, these clearly had been cooked in the microwave. They were chewy. I only ate one (which was all I had asked for) and was happy with fruit and yoghurt.

So now, I will shower and prepare. Happily, I can stay in my room until 12 so I have some time to prime and preen. And to try to squeeze everything in my case again.


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