I don’t want to eat
I don’t want to cook
I’ve done both but have had no joy
From sticky sweetness cloying in my mouth
Sticking in my throat.
I don’t sleep but
I don’t want to be awake.
I don’t want to read
Don’t want to watch TV:
They can’t numb my mind any more.
I don’t want people
Though, I don’t want
To be alone.
Indoors I’m angry
Outdoors I’m bitter.
I don’t want sunshine or
Sounds of birds.
I don’t want my bed, or sofa
Or a refreshing shower.
What I want,
Is to not feel like
This.