Soundless house –
I creep down the stairs,
Outside, the wind howls and rains harass:
inside is quiet, calm.
Curtains open: the dreary day
threatens to invade,
rain rivulets distorting the dismal grey.
But inside, inside, the glow of the fire and the warmth of the coffee fight back.
And then a sound.
Small feet descending the stairs,
the door opens, the face smiles,
always excited by the promise of a new day.
Like a burst of sunshine, the dreary day is cast away.
Can you see me?
Right before your eyes I stand.
Look at me.
See past the disappointments of imperfection and
See my heart which beats for you.
See my soul which longs for you.
See me, who loves you.
Could that be enough?
I have a heart to give and it is yours.
And in receiving it you will become whole.
You will never be alone. You will never be unloved.
See me and see love.
See my eyes light with fire when you’re around.
See my soul lift through the weight of the day when you’re near.
See my heart swell with hope and love and happiness because you’re with me.
See me, love me.
I see you.
I see your imperfections.
I see your fear and your hopes:
I see your dreams.
I see a face that I love, a body I crave and a soul I miss.
I see you. See me. See love.
I can be strong.
I can resist.
I can remember the lessons of the past
And refuse the pull of a fictional future.
I can admire from afar
But keep my distance.
I can harden my heart to possibilities
That were never possible –
apart from within my heart.
I can focus on the truth..
The truth I’ve learned the hard way, every time.
His heart connects to mine;
Our minds are so alike;
We inspire the greatest within each other; but,
We will not be together.
He walks in shadow
amongst the trees, the plants,
along the grass, the paths.
His memory hammers nails
into old wood and carves
beauty from the raw.
His sounds echo around
this house, this home,
awakening pain but fueling
This home was him, is him
and although he’s no longer
here, his shadow and light
and love, remain.
You’ve awoken feelings in my head and body,
Feelings long forgotten.
Feelings I questioned had even existed.
My mind has floated on daydreams all day;
Imagining the impossible.
Although it is you that has awoken this sleeping entity within me,
and you that I fantasise about as my mind wanders pleasurably,
It’s the incredulity that I can still feel this, think this, imagine this
That’s the most astounding aspect of this…
Today, my heart aches.
A knot, a pull, a pain –
My head resists
but the knowledge will not be buried
Today you are gone.
The truth has simmered,
and boiled and now overflows
in hot tears of disbelief.
Today I cry but
I miss you